I am a worrier. If you aren't worried about something, believe me I can find something that you should be worrying about. It isn't a trait I'm proud of and it is certainly one I am working on overcoming. When I was pregnant with my first child, I remember thinking - I can't wait...once I have my baby it will be easier. I won't worry as much, because he will be here with me. So naive.
Motherhood, has only raised my worrying tendencies to a whole new level. I worry about all kinds of things. Will my child be left-handed or right-handed? Will that cowlick always be there? Will they enjoy reading as much as I do? Will they text while driving? Are they going to randomly contract salmonella? Am I too strict/overprotective? Are they getting balanced enough meals? Am I going to fail completely at parenting?
So, the good news is, since becoming a mother my reasons to worry have tripled...but...my God is greater than all these things. I have learned to cling to verses like these - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7. Daily, I cling to the promise that His peace will guard this mother's heart and mind.
I find unbelievable assurance that my children are not really mine, they belong God. I know that He loves them and cares for them more than I ever could...and that is a lot, because I'm pretty crazy about them. Just knowing that my littles were known and loved by God before they were even a thought in this world, is absolutely amazing. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139:13-16
As far as failing. I find it reassuring to know that I will fail at times...but it is in those times I will have the best opportunity to point my children to Jesus. Giving them the perception that I am perfect and that I don't make mistakes would not only be false, but takes away from The Gospel message. My children need to see me fail...they need to see me cling to Jesus and die to myself daily. They need to see the goodness of God's grace lived out in my life. So, knowing that, well, it helps me worry a little less.
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